Ever feel like your brain is a cluttered attic, filled with dusty memories and random thoughts strewn all over the place? It’s like there’s a sock drawer somewhere in your mind, but every time you try to find a matching pair, you’re lost in a sea of mismatched fuzz. Don’t worry; you’re not alone. Organizing your mind may seem impossible, but there's a nifty little tool called the Think-Feel-Act Cycle that can help you tidy up that mental mess. Ready to declutter? Let’s dive in.
The Great Brain Clean-Up: The Think-Feel-Act Cycle
Imagine your mind is like your bedroom. Clothes are scattered, books are stacked precariously, and there’s a suspicious pile of who-knows-what in the corner. Just as you would organize your space to bring some order, you can do the same for your brain. The Think-Feel-Act Cycle is your mental Marie Kondo. It’s a framework that helps you understand the interplay between your thoughts, emotions, and actions.
Usually, the thoughts that you’ll want to work on with the Think-Feel-Act Cycle are those thoughts that go round and round in your mind – the ones you can’t stop thinking about. When you’re working through the Think-Feel-Act Cycle, you should write everything down. Get it out of your head and onto paper. There’s something cathartic about writing with a pen (or is that just me?), but if you’d rather type it on a computer, that works too.
Here’s a quick breakdown of the Think-Feel-Act Cycle:
Situation
This is where it all begins. The situation is what it is. There’s no judgment affixed to the situation. It’s the facts of the circumstances you are facing. If twenty people were in the room with you, they’d all agree that this is the situation.
Think
Your thoughts are the initial spark that sets everything in motion. There’s only one thought that drives how you're feeling. You may find you have two or three thoughts about something. You’ll need to break those down and do a TFA formula for each thought. Use only one thought in each formula. And there may be times where you can’t seem to find your thought. There is always a thought. You may need to work backwards to try to figure it out. I’ll explain that later.
Feel
Thoughts trigger emotions. Period. We don’t feel anything without a thought first. Whether it’s joy, anger, or boredom, every feeling ALWAYS starts with a thought. Crazy, but true. Unlike the one thought, you may have many feelings all at once.
Act
Emotions drive actions. How you feel influences what you do.
Result
The result ALWAYS reinforces the THOUGHT, and the cycle repeats.
Simple, right? But within this simplicity lies the power to transform how you organize your mind and, by extension, your life.
Real-Life Examples of the Think-Feel-Act Cycle
Sometimes, abstract concepts need a bit of grounding. I’m going to provide you with three everyday scenarios so you can see for yourself how the Think-Feel-Act Cycle works. As I said before – and it’s worth restating – when you’re working through the Think-Feel-Act Cycle, it’s a good idea to write down the formula. Maybe keep a special journal just to work through these pesky thoughts. Writing down your thoughts and feelings provides clarity and helps you spot patterns. It’s a powerful tool for self-reflection and growth.
Let’s work through the examples of the TFA Cycle together.
Example 1: Overcoming Procrastination
Situation: My weekend to-do list has twenty items on it. (Remember, Just the facts here. Don’t make judgments.)
Think: "Ugggh! I have so much to do; I don't even know where to start."
Feel: Overwhelmed, confused, and anxious.
Act: I don’t even start on the to-do list. I sit on my butt and binge-watch my favorite TV series.
Result: Nothing on the to-do list gets done. (The result reinforces the thought: so much to do, you don’t even start, and this starts the cycle all over again.)
Now let’s look at how we can reframe that thought. Think of a thought that you’d rather have in this situation. Let’s call these thoughts our “transit thoughts.” Make a list of as many transit thoughts you can think of that would give you a better result. Some transit thoughts could be:
“I’ll pick the most important task and work on that.”
“I’ll do the first one on my list.”
“I’ll do the easiest one on my list.”
“I’ll start with just the first step.”
List as many thoughts as you can come up with and then rewrite and reorganize this situation.
Reorganize with TFA:
Situation: Remember, the situation always remains the same: My weekend to-do list has twenty items on it.
Think: "I'll start with just the first step." (One of your transit thoughts)
Feel: Capable, proud, energized, determined.
Act: Take the first step, which builds momentum and leads to continued progress.
Result: Get most of the To-Do List done, reinforcing the thought “I’ll start with just the first step,” and continue first-stepping down the list (which repeats the cycle).
Pretty cool, right? Let’s try another one, but come at it a little bit differently.
Example 2: Enhancing Social Interactions
Situation: I’m going to a party. (Just the facts.)
Think: "It’s going to be miserable, because I’m not good at meeting people.”
Feel: Nervous, self-doubting, self-conscious.
Act: Skip the party to avoid potential embarrassment. Or go to the party, but hide in the corner and don’t talk to anyone and have a miserable time.
Result: I proved to my brain that I’m not good at meeting people and I had a miserable time.
Okay. Let’s take this one a little sideways. Instead of transit thoughts, we’re going to come up with transit feelings. How do you want to FEEL in this situation? Let’s write it out.
Some transit feelings could be: I want to feel comfortable, brave, worthy, safe, curious, involved, accepting, enthusiastic, excited, present, relaxed, optimistic.
These are great transit feelings. But let’s look a little closer at them. We need to get from our original feelings of nervous, self-doubting, and self-conscious to one of these other feelings. We can’t go from nervous to enthusiastic. That’s too big of a leap. We need to try to get to the next step, not to the top of the staircase. So perhaps we could go from nervous to present. That could work. What about self-doubting? Maybe curious could be the baby step above self-doubting. And then self-conscious, we could possibly change that to comfortable or worthy. Do you see how we’re narrowing down these transit thoughts? We don’t want to go overboard, because our brain will never believe that we’re enthusiastic or thrilled about this party, and it will reject our new TFA formula. But our brain most likely will accept these small steps: present, curious, and worthy.
So let’s write out our cycle once more. We’ll leave the thought blank for now.
Situation: I’m going to a party.
Think: (leave it blank for now)
Feel: Present, curious, and worthy.
Okay. Now we need to figure out a thought that can get us to these feelings. Again, baby steps here. We can’t go from "It’s going to be miserable, because I’m not good at meeting people” to “It’s going to be the best party I’ve ever attended, because I’m a society queen and I LOVE meeting new people.” Yeah, that ain’t gonna work. Your brain won’t believe it. So what will work? Write down as many transit thoughts as you can come up with that will get you to feeling present, curious, and worthy.
"I’ll try to talk to one person and have a pleasant time.”
“It's okay to make mistakes; people are generally kind and understanding."
“I’ll get a job, like taking coats or fetching drinks, or helping in the kitchen to keep me busy and engaged with other people.”
“I’ll pick out someone else who looks a little lonely and go talk to them.”
These are all great transit thoughts that could lead us to our desired feelings of comfortable, brave, and worthy. Let’s plug one into our TFA formula and see how it looks.
Reorganize with TFA:
Situation: I’m going to a party.
Think: "I’ll try to talk to one person and have a pleasant time. "
Feel: Comfortable, brave, and worthy.
Act: Attend the party and actually engage in a few conversations.
Result: I had an enjoyable experience and made new connections. (You’ve told your brain you can go to a party, meet people and have a good time.)
Are you beginning to see the beauty of the Think-Feel-Act Cycle?
Let’s do one more just for kicks and try yet another approach.
Example 3: Building Healthy Habits
Situation: It’s 5 pm.
Think: "I'm too tired to exercise after work."
Feel: Lethargic, depleted, and not motivated.
Act: Skip my workout.
Result: Go home and sit in front of the TV eating junk food. (Proving to your brain that you are too tired to exercise, and possibly repeating the cycle tomorrow.)
I call this one the Mountain Approach. Your original thought is at the base of the mountain: "I'm too tired to exercise after work." So now we’re going to come up with our top-of-the-mountain thought – the best-case scenario thought. And then we’re going to take a step-by-step approach to hike to the top of the mountain.
So in this situation, let’s say we want our top-of-the-mountain thought to be, “I’m going to work out even though I’m tired, because I know exercise will give me more energy and help me unwind.” Now we’ve got to go one step at a time up the mountain to get to that thought.
Hiking up the mountain thoughts:
1. (Base Thought) "I'm too tired to exercise after work."
2. “I’ll get out of my chair and walk around my desk two times.”
3. “I’ll go outside and take a 5-minute walk to energize me a little bit and get some sun.”
4. “I know I’ll feel better and more energized if I go to the gym.”
5. “I’ll go to the gym and just exercise for 5-10 minutes.”
6. (Top of the Mountain Thought) "I’m going to work out even though I’m tired, because I know exercise will give me more energy and help me unwind."
Reorganize with TFA:
Situation: It’s 5 pm.
Think: You could choose any of these hiking thoughts and go from there, but in this example, I'll choose the Top of the Mountain Thought: "I’m going to work out even though I’m tired, because I know exercise will give me more energy and help me unwind."
Feel: Centered, capable, and determined.
Act: Push through the initial resistance and complete my workout, which boosts my energy and mood.
Result: Go home, eat a healthy post-workout meal, and even get little bit of work done around the house. (This proves to your brain and reinforces the thought that exercise gives you more energy and helps you unwind.)
Bam! Right?
The Power of the Cycle: Synergy in Action
The beauty of the Think-Feel-Act Cycle lies in its interconnectedness. Each component influences the others, creating a dynamic system of feedback and growth. When you organize one part of the cycle, it positively impacts the whole. This formula can be done with any situation. Give it a try. Remember to write it out. It’s really difficult to do it in your head.
Conclusion: Your Mind, Your Masterpiece
Organizing your mind with the Think-Feel-Act Cycle is like creating a masterpiece. It takes time, effort, and a bit of creativity. But the results are worth it. By understanding and managing the interplay between your thoughts, emotions, and actions, you can transform your mental landscape into a place of clarity, peace, and purpose.
Remember, your mind is a powerful tool. Treat it with care, nurture it, and watch as it becomes a well-organized sanctuary, ready to support you in all your endeavors. So grab your mental broom, embrace the Think-Feel-Act Cycle, and start tidying up that beautiful brain of yours. The result? A more organized, fulfilled, and vibrant you.
Looking for more examples of the TFA Cycle? Check out this blog post!
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