Updated: Feb 8
I need to be honest here...I have been struggling to write this article. Then I started struggling as to why I was struggling.
I had to sit down and contemplate why this was happening, which meant, really focusing on the topic…Saying No…or Yes. Aahhh, why is it so difficult? Then it hit me…there is just so much to say about saying No… or saying Yes it is hard to formulate a concise thought. Here are all the things that rush through my head…
You don’t need to explain yourself when you say No.
People pleasing (saying yes) is a major cause of stress and anxiety.
Saying No is not selfish.
Saying No to attending an event is not rejection. Saying yes and not showing up is rejection.
No is a clear definition of your boundaries.
But what about saying Yes? Doesn’t this open up a world of opportunity? We asked social media and received some awesome feedback. Below are some of the highlights.
I used to say no to everything all the time, I would end up missing out, so now I am a “yes girl”.
When you say yes, you get the opportunity to learn and grow, especially if it is out of your comfort zone
Saying yes is a kindness.
“I say yes when my Y is so strong...just over here making sure I feed my soul.”
I get and love all of the above, but that last one, that spoke to me. I think this is where a little bit of common sense comes into play. We have to find the balance.
So, I am going to keep this short and sweet.
SAY NO if it does not lift you up. If it does not align to your goals. Be kind, but be unapologetic. Do not make yourself feel uncomfortable for someone else’s comfort.
SAY YES if it helps you grow. If it aligns with the goals you want to accomplish, say yes. Even if you feel a little uncomfortable. Get uncomfortable and go for it.
And if you still aren’t sure, think of this simple rule: If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no!
When I clean out my closet, if I take more than 5 seconds to decide, it goes in the give away pile. It wasn't a "hell yes", so I said no. When faced with a decision, use this rule to try simplifying.
“Just by simplifying decision making, you can clean up a lot of the clutter, a lot of the noise” - Tim Ferris
If I have no idea what I want to do, or if the decision I am making is for sometime in the future, I say I am going to think about it, and I do. And I reflect…
- Is it aligned with my values?
- Is it aligned with my goals?
- Will this help me grow?
- Will this make an impact?
Say yes. Say no. Say what serves YOU the most. That is not selfish. That is being responsible. That is respectful. That is authentic. When I started truly living my truth, I felt lighter, happier and more fulfilled. It truly is feeding your soul.